Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
