Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
