I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
