and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I want is dick and wine.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize