To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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