I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize