sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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