don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
