Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think i have two assholes
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
