babies were throwing up all over the place
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
