He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
