Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize