So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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