I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
