i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
