can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
