where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
