Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
where are my eyebrows?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
