Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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