She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize