You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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