She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
