It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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