dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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