I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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