The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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