Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize