I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
