How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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