? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
