I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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