I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
