a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
only you would photoshop your dick
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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