My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
