Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
