Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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