Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
