Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
