its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize