I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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