its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
