she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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