Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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