nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
