ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
