Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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