that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
