I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
