quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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