I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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