tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
PANTIES FOUND
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