He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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