he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
