Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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