you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize