cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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