I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
