Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
