She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
