I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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