I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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