she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
