I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
