who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
