You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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