I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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