I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
