He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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