We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just had sex on a roof
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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