Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize