Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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