I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize