Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
