uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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