two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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