i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
