k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
