too bad you live with your parents still
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
