If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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