I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
